Utah State Bar On The Air

As part of the ongoing effort to shine a light on the public service provided by Utah’s legal professionals, the Utah State Bar Board of Bar Commissioners has created a set of radio public service announcements that will be running this month. These announcements are also provided below in MP3 format. Depending on your browser, you can play them directly from the website or download them by right clicking on a link and selecting “Save Link As.”


The Utah State Bar’s new radio campaign has an unlikely call to action: “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.” These infamous words were written by Shakespeare—as everyone knows—but spoken by Dick the Butcher—a detail usually left off tee-shirts. It was the bad guys who wanted to take over, ending civilization as we know it—and what better way to start than by killing those working for justice?

Also missing from jokes about this dastardly proposal, is what immediately follows: the Clerk of Chatham being charged with the heinous crime of being able to read and write. In an impromptu and quick trial (the accused was able to speak 18 words, with no advocate, of course), the convicting evidence was his being able to write his name. The verdict: “Hang him with his pen and ink-horn about his neck.”

The lawyers of the Utah State Bar would be ideal targets for Dick the Butcher and Jack Cade, who would be King after the slaughter. They represent the accused—and definitely would have been able to help the Clerk of Chatham, provide free and discounted legal services, and work to keep people out of court. They build strong partnerships, businesses, products, and projects; help people mediate and negotiate; and seek solutions for everyday problems and opportunities. They also volunteer in the community, bringing their special skills to non-profit boards and government committees, as well as donating their time to help those needing a meal or a helping hand. So, when you need a lawyer look no further than the person at your elbow, serving right beside you.

History of Henry VI, Part II, Act IV, Scene 2:

  • Jack Cade. I fear neither sword nor fire.
  • Smith the Weaver. [Aside] He need not fear the sword; for his coat is of proof.
  • Dick the Butcher. [Aside] But methinks he should stand in fear of fire, being burnt i’ the hand for stealing of sheep.
  • Jack Cade. Be brave, then; for your captain is brave, and vows reformation. There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves sold for a penny: the three-hooped
    pot; shall have ten hoops and I will make it felony to drink small beer: all the realm shall be in common; and in Cheapside shall my palfrey go to grass: and when I am king, as king I will be,—
  • All. God save your majesty!
  • Jack Cade. I thank you, good people: there shall be no money; all shall eat and drink on my score; and I will apparel them all in one livery, that they may agree

    like brothers and worship me their lord.
  • Dick the Butcher. The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.
  • Jack Cade. Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent lamb should be made parchment? that parchment, being scribbled
    o’er, should undo a man? Some say the bee stings: but I say, ’tis the bee’s wax; for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never mine own man since. How now! who’s there?

[Enter some, bringing forward the Clerk of Chatham]

  • Smith the Weaver. The clerk of Chatham: he can write and read and
    cast accompt.
  • Jack Cade. O monstrous!
  • Smith the Weaver. We took him setting of boys’ copies.
  • Jack Cade. Here’s a villain!
  • Smith the Weaver. Has a book in his pocket with red letters in’t.
  • Jack Cade. Nay, then, he is a conjurer.
  • Dick the Butcher. Nay, he can make obligations, and write court-hand.
  • Jack Cade. I am sorry for’t: the man is a proper man, of mine
    honour; unless I find him guilty, he shall not die.
    Come hither, sirrah, I must examine thee: what is thy name?
  • Clerk of Chatham. Emmanuel.
  • Dick the Butcher. They use to write it on the top of letters: ’twill go hard with you.
  • Jack Cade. Let me alone. Dost thou use to write thy name? or
    hast thou a mark to thyself, like an honest
    plain-dealing man?
  • Clerk of Chatham. Sir, I thank God, I have been so well brought up that I can write my name.
  • All. He hath confessed: away with him! he’s a villain
    and a traitor.
  • Jack Cade. Away with him, I say! hang him with his pen and
    ink-horn about his neck.

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