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EDITOR'S NOTE: In 1987, Anne Stirba was named the Utah State Bar's Outstanding Young Lawyer of the Year. This summer, the Bar honored her as Judge of the Year. In the span of
years in between, she served as an administrative law judge, Assistant U.S. Attorney, and Third District Court Judge. She served terms as a Bar Commissioner and member of the Judicial
Council. During most of that time, she also fought a quiet and determined battle against cancer, which could not kill her professionalism, devotion to family and friends, or keen sense of
humor, but eventually took her life. The following remarks were made by Justice Christine Durham and Judge Tyrone Medley at Judge Stirba's funeral, held on July 19, 2001. Justice Durham
and Judge Medley have graciously permitted them to be reprinted here.
by Justice Christine M. Durham
Utah Supreme Court
Norman Cousins once wrote: "Any life, however long, is too short if the mind is bereft of splendor, the passions underworked, the memories sparse, and the imagination unlit by radiant
musings." Anne Stirba's life, although far too short by any measure, was long enough for splendor, for passion, for rich memories, and for radiant musings.
Fashioning a fitting remembrance of and tribute to Anne is not, of course, a task only for our time together today, but rather an on-going labor for all of us who loved and admired her.
For us all, but most especially for Peter, Emily and Melissa, the memories and the sense of her presence they bring will find places in our lives and hearts for all of our days.
My husband and I first met Anne and Peter twenty years ago at a Utah Bar Meeting in Sun Valley. She was pregnant with Emily, and she and my pediatrician husband bonded instantly; George
has cared for Emily and Melissa all their lives. Another bond was identified on that occasion. Our five-year-old daughter with Down Syndrome was with us on that trip, and Anne told us
about growing up with a much-loved sister who had serious developmental disabilities. I was grateful for her perspective and admired her involvement with her sister, and the tender regard
she expressed for her and their parents. We also admired Anne's and Peter's quiet self-confidence about the ambitious plans they were launching Ð two careers, public and professional
service, children. We were a few years ahead of them on that path, and I hope we were tactful enough not to tell them they were crazy. As for us, "crazy" turned out to work very
well for them.
Anne's was a life of dedication and generosity. She was a loving and loved wife and mother whose family's welfare always come first. She was a caring and supportive daughter and sister, a
wise and reliable friend, and a diligent, trusted colleague. She recognized and responded to others' need in her personal relationships, her professional activities, and her community
service, and despite her "calling" as a judge, she was never, in the human rather than the legal sense, judgmental. Her experience with the human condition engendered kindness
and patience, never withdrawal or arrogance. Her long battle with the terrible disease that has taken her now was characterized by great courage, total determination, improbable
cheerfulness, and, especially towards the end, deep serenity and composure. My husband saw Anne in his office with Melissa just a few weeks ago. He spoke to me that evening about their
conversation, which had deeply moved him. Anne, he said, despite all she might have had to regret, or be angry about, spoke of her profound sense of gratitude. Gratitude for the rich and
full life she had been given to live. Gratitude for the experiences of love, family, friendship, and personal growth that had been hers. And, most particularly, gratitude for the decade
she'd had (since her first diagnosis) to spend with her daughters in their growing years. Anyone who knows Anne knows how she felt about Emily and Melissa: they were the light of her
life. Though far too short, Anne's life was full of all the essentials for human happiness, and I am convinced that she knew it, relished it, and left reluctantly, but at peace.
Professionally, Anne's life was full of accomplishments and "firsts." As the first woman in Utah's history to win election to the State Bar Commission, she negotiated the
politics of what was then still pretty much of an all-male preserve with admirable tact and good humor. She was welcoming and supportive of younger lawyers wherever she was, and mentored
many young women and men in the profession. As a judge, she was always helpful to colleagues and patient with litigants: she made personal connections with people in the courtroom that
assured them of her fairness, her concern, and her total commitment to doing the right thing. In fact, trying always to do the right thing was a hallmark of her behavior on and off the
bench. As our small community of women judges in Utah grew, Anne could always be counted on to arrange a social event, often in her lovely home, and keep us in touch. Her commitment and
accomplishments were recognized by many of the institutions she cared about. She was named Outstanding Young Lawyer of the Year by the Bar in 1987, and received the Par Excellence Award
from the University of Utah Young Alumni Association in 1993. This year the Utah State Bar named her Judge of the Year on July 6th. She served ably on innumerable committees, boards and
commissions dedicated to the improvement of the administration of justice and of Utah's Court system. Most recently, she represented the District Courts on the Judicial Council, the
governing body of our courts, and was the Chair of its Management Committee. Her colleagues on the Council report that even the severe inroads of her illness did not prevent her from
productive attendance at meetings, and remember fondly the many occasions she brightened with treats and humor.
Anne was, by the way, funny and fun-loving. Against all odds, she organized and kept alive a weekly tennis lesson (with a pro at the old Ft. Douglas Country Club) for several years, when
some of us women judges were younger (and some of us thinner). The tennis pro soon learned that we were more interested in talking and laughing than improving our serves, and he
occasionally threatened to expose us and our indiscretions in the press if we didn't shape up. He was, of course, generally overruled. We did notice, however, that things never got too
social for Anne to tone down her killer serve in doubles. She didn't get where she was in life without a competitive instinct, but I have never seen or heard of an instance in which she
used it to put down another person, betray a trust or confidence, or climb over someone else for recognition.
Her energy was well-known, and if she is resting today after the long struggle, it won't be for long. Emily Dickinson's poem reminds me of Anne:
The Goal
Each life converges to some centre
Expressed or still;
Exists in every human nature
A goal,
Admitted scarcely to itself, it may be
Too fair
For credibility's temerity
To dare.
Adored with caution, as a brittle heaven,
To reach
Were hopeless as the rainbow's raiment
To touch,
Yet persevered toward, surer for the distance;
How high
Unto the saints' slow diligence
The sky!
Ungained, it may be, by a life's low venture.
But then,
Eternity enables the endeavoring
Again.
Emily Dickinson, The Goal, in Collected Poems of Emily Dickinson, 47 (Arlington House, Inc., 1983).
Another piece of poetry, from Proverbs, also reminds me of Anne:
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him
good and not evil all the days of her life. . . .
She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. She
considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. . . .
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household; for all her household are clothed with
scarlet. . . .
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. . . . Her children rise
up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Proverbs 31: 10-28.
The threads of a life are too many to number, and too diverse and beautiful to properly describe. But the threads of Anne's life were woven together in a lovely, rich, and
harmonious pattern that we can see, feel, and appreciate. I hope that the weaving of the threads of memory will be a warm and protective shelter for Emily and Melissa, and for Peter Ð her
partner in everything. Anne was a strong, capable, elegant, and warm woman; she will be deeply missed.
by the Honorable Tyrone E. Medley
Third District Court
On behalf of the judiciary and in particular Anne's friends and colleagues in the Third District I wish to extend our deepest heartfelt sympathies to Anne's family as we pay
tribute and celebrate her life today.
It is an honor and I feel very fortunate to have this opportunity to pay tribute to an outstanding judge, colleague, wife, mother and friend. Anne is so highly respected,
cherished and loved by so many people I have wondered why I was selected to make this tribute when there are so many people close to Anne more eloquent than I who are deserving of this
opportunity.
You see, approximately two months ago I called Anne at home to see how she was doing, it had been some time since I had heard from her, but in all honesty I was worried about
her, I missed her, and I just wanted to hear her voice one more time. She had such a rich, soulful quality to her voice. She stunned me that day when she asked me to speak here today.
And, in classic Stirba style, she had the nerve to joke with me and said, "Ah, just try to find a few nice things to say about me." We both had a good laugh on that one. I told
her it could be a very short speech and we laughed again! That's one of the small things I will miss most about Anne, I loved to hear her laugh, her laugh was so infectious and abundant
with joy.
Judge Greg Orme reminded me that occasionally Anne could tell a pretty good joke, however, some of her favorites cannot be retold inside a religious institution. I'm not sure I
heard any of Anne's good jokes! I can remember her telling me a couple of jokes and she would break out in laughter. I would just stand there, shaking my head, she would ask what's wrong,
and I would say, Anne, you're the only one laughing! It was obvious to me, like all judges, Anne had come to believe that all of her jokes were funny.
Anne was always so caring and nurturing, and constantly searching for some way to help you, some way to make life more pleasant and joyful for someone else. I wouldn't put it
past her to think that maybe by asking me to speak here today that she would be helping me verbalize my own grief for her and my own mother, who I lost a few months ago, and in turn stand
as an example to all of her friends and family that it is normal to grieve, but at your own speed you must move on and recapture that zest for life she so courageously fought for these
past few years. So, for Anne, at her request I'm going to try and find a few nice things to say.
Anne was a judge's judge. She loved her job and took the responsibilities of her office very seriously. Anne had generous quantities of all of the attributes of an excellent
jurist. The professionalism she demonstrated on the bench was second to no one in this state. She had keen intellect and it never ceased to amaze me no matter if we were discussing legal
issues, or at a judges' meeting or a Judicial Council meeting, she had an uncanny ability to cut through the morass of irrelevant detail, go directly to the core of an issue, artfully
articulate a well-reasoned solution or decision, with the necessary commitment and follow-through to accomplish the desired result. Anne was a master at gentle persuasion. Even if you
disagreed with her position, you had to respect the thoroughness of her analysis, her intellectual honesty, and the respect and consideration she gave to opposing views. As a trial judge,
Anne was hardworking, compassionate, and painstakingly fair. Anne has been described as a judge who perfectly balanced a firm, intellectual no-nonsense approach, tempered with appropriate
caring and compassion. Many of us believe that Anne epitomized the best within our Utah judiciary.
Among Anne's strongest attributes was her enormous capacity for compassion and sensitivity. She took extraordinary care in meeting the needs and addressing the concerns of
jurors and victims of crime. Two cases of note exemplify these attributes. The Woodland murder case, also known as "Captain Nemo", was prosecuted by current Judge Ann Boyden. As
one would expect, Ann Boyden describes Judge Stirba as meticulous in detail. She made sure every appropriate hearing was scheduled, every issue fully addressed, with a complete, accurate
and preserved record. Judge Stirba was relentless in making sure the attorneys dotted every "i" and crossed every "t". Judge Stirba's even-handed, delicate approach
was most impressive and demonstrated her sensitivity and concern for the victims, yet appropriately protecting the rights of the defendant. These same skills were on display several years
later when Judge Stirba handled the Benvenuto capital homicide case which resulted in a guilty plea. Years later people still comment upon the professionalism, compassion and care
rendered by Judge Stirba in managing that case.
Many of you know that for the past few years I have been involved with the Task Force on Race and Ethnic Fairness in the Legal System. Many of you have supported this effort,
however, when addressing the difficult issue of race sometimes you need leaders to step up and lead. Anne did just that! She passionately supported our efforts because the ideal of equal
access to justice for everyone, to her should be mandatory reality.
In March of this year Anne was very sick. She asked me to substitute for her at the Judicial Council meeting in St. George. On the agenda that day was the new position for a
statewide coordinator to implement the recommendations in the Task Force report. Despite her illness and the fact she was spending precious time with her family, she appeared by
speaker-phone to urge the Council to continue to support the work of the Task Force. I don't believe I've ever seen as much courage, commitment and leadership all wrapped into one person
in all my life.
I want to conclude with what I believe is Anne's greatest legacy. The humanity, compassion, caring, love and courage with which she lived her life and generously shared with
others. It didn't matter who you were, nor what your station in life was, she had a way of touching your life. She was a role model, mentor and a pure inspiration for many. This is her
greatest legacy.
Many of us here today have an Anne Stirba story to tell. Anne was a role model for Jan Thompson, Media Relations Coordinator. Anne's integrity and dedication has inspired Jan
Thompson to believe in the uncompromising pursuit of excellence and fairness in her service to the public. Many of us here today have received a memorable thank you note, letter or card
from Anne. Judge Ann Boyden still treasures a dozen pink roses, now perfectly dried, she received from Anne when first appointed to the bench.
Diane Cowdrey, Director, Utah Judicial Institute, shared a story as follows:
One of the things I will remember about Anne is her love for our Law and Literature programs that we hold each winter. She loved to read and was thoughtful, insightful and open
in her comments. The last two years, she opened her mountain cabin up to our group for our evening program. Everyone would sit around her lovely cabin, with a big fire roaring away, and
discuss a piece of literature. Anne was a gracious and attentive host, and everyone felt relaxed. Most of the women in the group stayed over at the cabin, and had a sleepover. We all felt
like a community there Ð Anne made it special. The last program was in February this year, and I know she wasn't feeling well. But she still wanted to host that dinner. It meant a lot to
her to have us up there. She was sick and wasn't able to be with everyone the entire time, but her presence was always with us. During part of that program, we explored death and dying,
and people shared how they felt about that. Anne participated fully Ð she had wanted to have this discussion. This was not a theoretical issue for her Ð she knew her time was limited. It
was a gift to have her with us, and I know we'll always have her presence during Law and Literature programs that we hold in the future.
Judge Kimberly Hornak shared another experience with Anne, as follows:
My husband was an economist in the Department of Natural Resources when Anne represented that agency several years ago. I went to law school in the state of Washington and moved
to Utah in 1984. Inasmuch as I did not know any lawyers in Utah, my husband arranged for Anne and I to have lunch when I moved here. She was the first lawyer I met in Utah. She was
friendly and outgoing and offered to get me involved in several committees and organizations. She became a mentor to me in 1984 and continued to be one throughout my career. When I
prosecuted cases in her court she went out of her way to tell me what a good job I did or to offer constructive criticism. Whenever she heard some news about me she called or sent a card
or flowers and offered words of congratulations or encouragement. That is the kind of person she was Ð sincere, thoughtful, interested in others and kind. The wonderful thing about Anne
was that she was respected as a professional and a jurist but perhaps more importantly she was valued and trusted as a friend. Although she will be missed greatly, she influenced many
lives and I think I am a better person for having known her.
If Anne had lived another 50 years, that wouldn't be long enough for me to repay the debt of gratitude I owe for the compassion and courage she gave me over the past nine months.
In October of last year my mother was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. We lost her on New Year's Day. The experience has been devastating and it's been very difficult to
move on. Well, who do you think came to the rescue? That's right, Anne Stirba to the rescue. She was constantly leading the charge in service to others. Anne was a walking computer disk
and knew everything about the disease of cancer, which she shared with me. She helped educate me so I could ask the proper questions regarding my mother's care and guided me through the
health care industry maze. She helped me understand the various treatment options recommended for my mother. She helped me understand the benefits and side effects of my mother's
medications. She helped me understand my mother's loss of appetite and her depression. I lost track of the number of times she called me in New Jersey, wondering if there was anything she
could do. She made her doctor available to me so I could cross-check the medical care my mother was receiving. I'm not sure I should even mention this because I'm not sure the statute of
limitations has run on this, but when I was having a problem obtaining anti-nausea medication for my mother, she offered to give me hers.
Above all, Anne gave me strength and courage. Judge Glenn Iwasaki and I would often look at one another in total awe of Anne's courage, grace and dignity. We often commented
that if either one of us were in her position we would have crawled up under our desks in the fetal position, totally helpless, but not Anne Stirba.
My mother's last request of me before depression set in and she lost the ability to communicate, was for me to be strong for her. Witnessing Anne's courageous and graceful fight
and the compassionate way she generously shared her experiences with me, allowed me to honor my mother's last request. For this I am eternally grateful.
Last, I would like to pass on to Emily and Melissa a valuable lesson that is reinforced with each passing day. With each passing day I am learning that a mother's love never
dies! A mother's love is an inextricable part of us forever.
So, Anne, I hope you're pleased to know I was able to find a few nice things to say about you. God bless you.
Thank you.
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